Comunità di S.Egidio


 

LETTER OF A PRISONER IN A RUSSIAN JAIL

 

Dear T.

Honestly, your letter absolutely took me by surprise. I had formed a strong opinion that nobody might be willing to correspond with someone like me, in order to talk about clean, sincere, friendly things. I thank you sincerely for your letter and kind heart.

As you know, I am a prisoner, but now I am in hospital in order to follow a treatment for a serious tuberculosis (my left lung is off). My relationship with the others here is very bad. They are used to see us just as criminals and nobody wants or knows how to cast a glance at our souls. But in our souls we are not so bad, we also need ( very much) love, tenderness, ordinary regards and feelings. Yet, we only see the worst side of life while our souls yearn for every good thing. I thank the Lord because he listened to my prayer and wanted our correspondence to be realised.

I have often heard about Rome, but I would like to see with my own eyes all its monuments of history and culture. Unfortunately, this is an unreachable dream for me. Rome, Venice. Who has never heard about them? Yet, to see them is not for everyone, and I am among these. I do not even know what's happening in my own country, because night and day I am shut in a room with no radio and I have no money to buy newspapers. I could have a TV set of my own, but I have nobody who can bring it to me. We don't receive any kind of information and this has very negative effects on our mental health. The more time we spend this way, the more we degrade ourselves. But it is simply impossible to change something without the aid of freedom.

I have to ask you something. If it is within your power to do it, help me please, without considering me a perfect idiot. It is a request to get information, in order to let my brain go on working and not fade completely. Maybe you have some books with photos, advertisements or any other type of brochure with pictures and explanations. I would read any type of information with pleasure. Moreover, I wish to improve my English and to study any other foreign language. It would be wonderful if you could send me some booklets to study English and Italian. I would be eternally grateful to you for telling me something about Rome and sending some pictures.

The weather is already very cold here. On December 1st there were -25� C. and this is not the lowest temperature, but only the beginning. I think that the temperature will fall to -30�, -35� C. this winter, even though they say that this winter will be milder for natural causes. Everything is already covered with snow. From my little window I can see just snow, nothing else. Everything is buried under the snow.

About my health, no wonder that things are not going well because of the lifestyle within these walls. The consumptive needs some essential things in order to recover: vitamins, caloric meals and good medicines. But there is often nothing of this all. I succeed in getting some medicines, but as for vitamins and food� it drives you to despair. Never mind, I try not to be stifled in my spirit and I hold on as I can.

I would not write anymore about our life here for the time being. There is nothing fine or interesting to tell about. I have just given you such a sad description that I would make your hair stand on end if I went on writing.

Now I have a final request for you. I only ask you to understand me well and to look at my request magnanimously. Would you please send me a blank envelope with your next letter? Just in order to be able to answer you at once. We have a lot of problems with envelopes and stamps: we are ill, we cannot work and we don't know how to get them. I am afraid I won't be able to answer your letter because of the lack of the envelopes and stamps needed for foreign mail. We don't even know how we can get the simplest and most necessary things, which makes it so hard for us to survive. Forgive my indigence, it can't get rid of it. If you only knew how I feel ashamed of showing my total dependence.
But where should I find what is necessary? That's life. Fortune has not smiled on me in recent times, but I hope that something will be better in the future.

I wish you every happiness, radiance and kindness. May all your dreams and desires come true, may you be in good health, may smile be always on your lips.

Good bye. Respectfully yours. Your sincere friend

 

A.